Make Your Online First Impression a Lasting One
Imagine you’re browsing through some online dating profiles and you see someone that catches your eye. Pretty eyes, nice smile, seems relaxed and confident in themselves, with just a hint of mystery.
You read their profile and discover that you have a bunch in common. You’ve both been to Rome, you’ve both read Love in the Time of Cholera (twice!), and you both prefer cats to dogs.
You’re excited. This person seems perfect. So you click to send a message and you type…
“Hello. How are you?”
And then… you don’t hear anything back.
If this sounds like you, fear not, you just need to knuckle down and work on your online first impression.
Follow these steps to increase your chances of getting a response and building a rapport online:
Step One: Remember, We Are Visual Creatures
So put your best self forward. Anyone browsing dating profiles will make a snap judgement based on a profile picture before they delve into the detail of the profile itself. Same applies to the recipients of your messages. If your profile picture is low quality, blurry, or appears dated, then it’s almost certainly going to be overlooked. Steer clear of selfies (which may make you seem a bit self-obsessed) and sexy, pouty pictures (which may make you seem like you place too much importance on looks).
Also, please don’t upload a picture of you and your friends in a big group shot as your main profile picture. No-one wants to play “guess which one is me”.
Your best bet is to ask a friend to take a photo of you (and you alone) in a natural, well-lit setting. Chin up, shoulders back, and smile. There, that’s better!
Step Two: Be Real
Seems obvious, doesn’t it? But if you want to make this work, you need to be prepared to put your real self out there. Don’t be dull, and don’t rely on clichés to make you seem interesting. Everyone has passions, hobbies, interests, so write about what matters to you.
On the other side of the coin, try to avoid hyperbole. Don’t be zany and quirky for the sake of it. Find a nice middle ground, a writing style that reflects who you are, and don’t be afraid to deal in details.
For example, rather than writing “I enjoy a night in with a DVD” discuss your favourite movies and give a little insight into why you like them. Suddenly, you’ll seem like a real three-dimensional person instead of a boring, half-finished dating profile.
Step Three: Do Your Research
This doesn’t mean you should fire up Facebook and cyber stalk like there’s no tomorrow. This is about actually taking the time to read what someone has written on their profile. Particularly if it seems genuine, heartfelt, and free of clichés. This would suggest that they’ve put a little bit of time and effort into writing it in the hopes of finding someone who shares their interests and opinions. The least you can do at this stage is read it thoroughly!
Step Four: Craft Your Opening Line
This is what all of this has been building towards; the opening line.
Safe in the knowledge that you’ve nailed your profile and profile picture, and you’ve read this person’s profile too, you can confidently click to send a new message. Crack those knuckles and consider the following:
- Take your time and think about what you want to say. Don’t rush into typing any old nonsense, and make sure you proofread what you write. Above all else, avoid text-speak (ur, u, luv, etc.)
- Try and avoid basing your opening gambit on physical compliments. You might think it’s nice to tell someone you find them attractive, but it’s only going to make them question your motives and values.
- As was alluded to earlier, avoid generic greetings. “Hello, how are you?” is pretty dull and boring. Put a bit of oomph into it and let your personality shine through.
- Lastly, deal in specifics. If you both have shared interests based on the contents of your respective profiles, then this is the ideal place to start. You both love the same author? Then ask a question about their latest novel. They’ve been backpacking and you’ve always wanted to go? Ask about their favourite destination. By writing open-ended questions (i.e. questions that don’t just require a yes or no answer) you’re more likely to spark up conversation.
Alas, there’s no one-size-fits-all opening line that’ll guarantee you a response. Sometimes it’s about trial and error. One thing’s for certain though, by following these steps you’ll give yourself the best possible chance of standing out from the crowd.
What’s your favourite online icebreaker? Let us know on our Facebook or Twitter!
