How To Send A First Message That WORKS!
Breaking the ice is never easy. Whilst your profile can say a lot, that first message can say more. Sending a good first message is just as nerve-wracking as walking up to a stranger in a bar and starting a conversation (except you don’t have the body language indicator to feed off).
But it doesn’t have to be hard or scary to send an opening message that stands out. This is how to send a semi-decent online dating message in six easy steps…
Read That Profile…
This may seem obvious but you really need to read the WHOLE profile before sending a message. You may be thinking with your eyes and just desperate to get in touch but if you’re speed reading a profile then chances are that you’re not going to get on with the person at the other end.
Mention something in the profile…
We told you that you needed to read the whole profile, didn’t we? They may have mentioned they love Robbie Williams or that they’re a huge fan marvel comics, so why not ask them a question based on what you’ve read? For example: What do you think of Ben Affleck playing Batman? or Who do you think would win in a physical fight between Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams? It doesn’t really matter what you ask but by stating and then asking, you’re showing a bit about yourself (and how you two have something in common) and giving an easy way to respond back to you (and taking all the pressure off).
Don’t be nervous…
You know how animals can sense if you’re nervous and then in return get all snarly and snappy? Well so can online daters. Ask yourself a simple question; “what do I have to lose” and then get typing. The worst thing that can happen is that they message you back saying they’re not interested and in that case you can quickly relegate that message to the trash. And if they don’t respond? Well you can just pretend it never happened.
It’s all about the headline…
Let’s be honest for a moment, a simple “hello” as an opening line really isn’t going to cut the mustard. Assuming that you’ve read the profile and shed those nerves then this should be a breeze. Using the earlier example of Robbie Williams from earlier, your title could be anything from “Robbie Williams Rock’s!” or “Gary v’s Robbie – There’s only one way to decide”. The key to this is making sure that you stand out from the crowd.
Creepy Compliments…
You may think that compliments are a great way of hitting it off, after all, you’ve been staring at that profile picture for the last 10 minutes but online people are a little more on-guard and opening with a comment on their physical appearance runs the risk of seeming shallow and off-putting.
Text Speak…
You know what is sexy? Good grammar. Seriously, netspeak, bad grammar and bad spelling are instant turn-offs. U, UR, FINK, WAT and so on all make a terrible first impression. Although lol and haha are exceptions to the rule (after all, everyone loves a laugh) do ensure that you keep the rest of your message grammatical and punctuated.
