How do you know if you’ve entered the “friendzone”?
So you have met someone you really like, you love spending time with them and they seem to feel the same way about you. You go for long walks together, watch films together – you’ve even met the parents and the best friends….but there’s still something missing? You don’t kiss, you cuddle but it never leads to sex and all you ever seem to do these days is complain to your mates about it. Sound familiar?? Well then you, my friend, have been “Friendzoned”.
Fortunately there are ways you can get out of the friendzone, so all is not lost! And as frustrating as it may feel at the time, the friendship that you have built at the start will actually work in your favor – how many love stories are about two people being great friends until one day they start to see each other differently…a LOT!
- Be the best you possible: Take a look at yourself – could you benefit from improving your diet, hitting the gym or taking up a sport you enjoy that gets you active? When did you last buy some new clothes – ones that make you feel a little bit more “ta-da”? Maybe it’s time for a haircut? It’s not about making superficial improvements – it’s about making you feel good about yourself.
- Have fun with other people: Don’t ever make one person the sole reason for your own happiness, being truly happy needs to come from within. It’s a fact that like attracts like. If you are a fun, kind, happy person you will draw fun, kind and happy people to you.
- Flirt with them: Do they honestly know how you feel? Rather than going in all guns blazing and declaring your undying love to them (bit scary for the recipient!) have fun with them – a bit of gentle teasing and a few well timed compliments about how great they look – or even better, the way they smell – can get your point across perfectly.
- Arrange “non dates” with them: They may not be keen to go out for dinner but there’s less pressure if you invite them to do things with you that you would have already been doing – buying new clothes, taking your dog for a walk (no that isn’t a euphemism – walks can be pretty romantic in the right setting!) Whilst you’re on your non dates you can start laying the groundwork to make a move – casual arm brushes, hand in the small of their back to guide them – working up to things like a casual arm around the shoulders, hugging etc.
- Make a move: Finally after setting up your groundwork this bit should be easy! You’re looking great, you’re feeling confident and popular and you’re already flirting up a storm – you should be getting subtle hints at this point that if you go in for the kill you’re not going to get rejected, but just in case you might want to take the advice of Will Smith in the film Hitch – go 90% of the way into a kiss and allow the other person to bridge the last 10%.
At the end of the day nothing ventured, nothing gained – but if you are rejected try not to be too disheartened, a good friend is a valuable thing, providing the friendship goes both ways and you aren’t just being used as a sounding board to give advice about the other people they are dating.
